


Holding a secret on these pages

by GreenSerpent



Series: Fanfic for Eremin Fics Only [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 22:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4539366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenSerpent/pseuds/GreenSerpent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin is in love with Eren and has a secret diary in which he daily writes about Eren. He tells how cute, pretty and perfect he is to him. But one day Eren finds the diary and when he tells Armin, he begins to cry. So Eren takes him in his arms and tells him that he returns his feelings and kisses him. (Prompt taken from http://ereminheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/87026938518/armin-is-in-love-with-eren-and-has-a-secret-diary)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding a secret on these pages

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first fic I posted for ereminficsonly.tumblr.com! This is a new blog for Eremin Fics and I'm participating as a writer there. The blog has amazing people working on it and it's marvelous, so check it out! Send your Eremin prompts as well, we'll gladly fill them!  
> As always, hope you enjoy the fic!

            By the door, Armin watched Eren as he left his house. Eren waved at him and ran towards the side walk, the warm sun rays reaching his skin, giving him a golden glow. Armin couldn’t leave the place until his friend was nowhere to be seen. With a sigh, he turned back inside and closed the door. It was time he’d do what he did every day to cope with his frustration. In his room, he took a deep breath, sat on his bed, the notebook on his lap, a pen on his right hand.

          _Jxxx 30th, 20XX_

_Today Eren laughed a lot. We watched some funny videos on the internet while eating snacks. We should have done our homework, but watched the videos instead. Though I know I’ll work on mine, I’m afraid he won’t do his. He told me not to be so stiff when it comes to school, but how can I not be? Even being stiff, today I let myself have some fun with him; I absolutely love it when he laughs. His eyes get so bright! He’s just so handsome, my heart feels like it’s going to burst. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I can’t help it. I wish I could have kissed him goodbye when he left, but all I did was say “see you later”. I’m hopeless. I guess my feelings will only ever get across to the ink on this paper._

            Armin closed his notebook. Or was it a diary? He didn’t really want to call it a diary, it sounded stupid. That was his second notebook and soon he would have to get a third. In those pages, he could let out the feelings he had been holding inside himself for a long time then. Through small paragraphs in some days or long and frustrated rants in others, he’d write everything. He felt guilty for feeling the way he did, yet he couldn’t stop it. He wanted to hug him, to kiss him, to tell him he yearned for his touch, but how could Armin? Eren was his best friend and he didn’t have a clue about Armin’s feelings.

            The next day was a Friday and Eren was going to Armin’s place for a sleepover. They would often have those and they were pure torture. Since childhood, they were very close, close enough to sleep on the same bed even after growing up. Eren would hug Armin in his sleep and his breath would graze on Armin’s neck. He always thought he was going to go crazy, but he never tried to stop it. It felt too good, yet it was agony. Armin wanted to lean more against Eren, and having that desire while he knew he couldn’t, that was as if he was betraying his friend, who didn’t know what was happening. Armin was deceiving Eren, he couldn’t help but feeling that way. A hot flush would always him hard when they were lying on that bed together; Eren’s warmth made it all worse. Every night Eren came, Armin just endured. If he tried to sleep in separate beds, Eren would know something is wrong. No, he couldn’t risk it.

            After school, Eren went home and promised to go to Armin’s house as soon as he could. While waiting for his friend, the boy grabbed his notebook and started writing about their day together. Eren was very good at sports, but that day on P.E. class he fell on the ground while running. It was nothing serious, just a graze on his hands, which supported him on the fall. Armin thought it was adorable when Eren got on his feet again and flashed a stupid grin to tell everyone it was alright. He got serious then and started running again. Armin was doing some light exercises not far from where Eren was running and watched as he’d pass by him. He only realized he was in a daze when his teacher called him out of it. He was far too gone, too in love. _Stupid hormones_ , Armin wrote. He wished he could stop it. What if Eren realized how Armin looked at him?

            Eren knocked on the door right before sunset. Armin let go of his notebook and ran down the stairs. His grandfather and grandmother, who took care of him ever since his parents died in a car accident when he was little, were on the living room. When Eren came in, he greeted them and told his mother sent regards. The two adolescent boys went to Armin’s room. They decided they’d play video games and there they stood for some time, until Armin’s grandmother called him from the first floor.

            “I’ll be right back, Eren”, he said as he paused the game.  
           “’Kay”

            Armin’s grandmother gave him a plate with some muffins she had made for him to take upstairs. He kissed her on the cheek, happy for the muffins, as they were his favorites; he couldn’t really complain about anything. He had the muffins on his hands and the boy he loved waiting for him on his room, it was good enough, even if Eren never corresponded his feelings. Armin went upstairs again and opened his bedroom door. “Grandma made muffins!”, he said cheerfully, but it all changed when he saw Eren.

            “You read it?”

            Eren was sitting on his bed with the notebook opened on his hands. Yes, it was the secret notebook, the one that held Armin’s every forbidden feeling, and the last person he wanted to read it had it opened in from of his eyes. He had forgotten to hide it after he wrote on it. He couldn’t move an inch, too scared to move a muscle. He stood silent while Eren got up and nodded, meaning that, yes, he did read it.

            “Armin, you’re crying.”

            Tears were flowing non-stop from his eyes, but he only noticed it when Eren pointed out. He wanted to ask Eren if he hated him, however, those feelings were too overwhelming; he tried to speak, but he could only sob uncontrollably. He looked directly into Eren’s eyes and noticed how confused he seemed to be as he came, took the plate of muffins from his hands, put it away and held him in his arms. Armin held him back, not knowing what the embrace meant, he just knew he needed to, since Eren was willing to be near him. It seems that at least he didn’t hate Armin and he would cling onto that.

            “Why are you crying so much? Armin, look at me.”

            Looking up wasn’t something he wanted to do; he just wanted to feel that warmth that reassured him Eren was there. He obeyed, though. Eren was on the verge of tears as well, yet he held them. Armin felt ashamed, exposed, but all he wanted to do was stay with Eren, who was now touching his cheeks with his fingertips, cleaning the tears away. Until he could talk properly, they stayed that way, Armin looking down again, afraid to look back.

            “I thought you would hate me. But you are here.”, he cleaned his eyes and his nose before he continued. “Why? Aren’t you disgusted?”  
           “I could never be. Armin, I…” Eren looked down and sighed. He looked up again, now determined. “I love you too.”  
           “What?”

            Eren leans in and Armin just couldn’t believe in what was happening. When he finally reached his lips, Armin was just petrified. How awkward could their first kiss be?

            "What’s wrong? I thought you wanted this.” Eren backed out.  
           “I do. Sorry, I was just… Is this for real?”

            A smile appeared in Eren’s face and then Armin could finally snap out of his awkwardness and let it happen. This time, they met halfway. Armin’s hands wrapped around Eren’s neck and Eren’s grabbed his back, pulling him closer. At first, lips were touching softly, until it got deeper. There was warmth, passion, yearn, all mixed in one kiss. Armin grabbed Eren’s hair and tried to bring him even closer, as if it was possible. They were entangled and wanted more. It was only over when they were both too breathless. Gently biting Armin’s lower lip, Eren broke the kiss off. They looked at each other, both crying now, and it was so weird, yet so natural, that they had to laugh, as they held tight.

            “Hey, Armin.” Eren broke the silence.  
           “What?”  
           “Shouldn’t we eat those muffins? They’re your favorites, right?

            Armin couldn’t help but smile. Eren was just the one for him, he knew it. Now that he was aware of Eren’s feelings, that they were just the same as his, he was truly happy. Armin never thought that moment could happen; damn it, Eren was really good at hiding his feelings. It seemed he himself was too, after all, Eren only knew about his love for him after reading the notebook. Or was it that everything was already too natural between them? Maybe it was really meant to be. Armin held Eren tight and realized that he really wanted those muffins he had forgotten while having a crying fit. Everything was as it should have always been.


End file.
